Why Planning a Wedding Feels So Personal (and What to Do About It)
- Sarah Lizabeth
- Jun 2, 2025
- 4 min read
Updated: 21 minutes ago
Planning a wedding isn’t just about picking florals or seating charts. It’s about navigating a life transition in front of a live audience, while juggling opinions, budgets, and emotional landmines. That’s why in this blog post (based on the latest episode of The Snagged Podcast), we’re diving into why wedding planning hits so hard emotionally—and what to do when it does.
It’s Not “Just a Party”: The Hidden Weight of Weddings
You’ve heard it:
“It’s just one day.”But let’s be honest—it’s not.
It’s the merging of two families, the start of a new chapter, and a highly public display of a very private commitment. You’re expected to plan a flawless, memorable event that reflects your love story, family values, and personal style… all while making sure everyone else is happy, too.
And when something carries that much weight, it’s no surprise that emotions run high. You’re not just planning an event, you’re defining a moment in your story. That’s why decisions that seem small, like whether to do a first look or skip the bouquet toss, can feel huge. You’re not just picking what happens on your wedding day… you’re deciding how you want to be seen and celebrated.
The Pressure to Perform While Planning a Wedding
Here’s where it gets real: the performance pressure.
Brides today are expected to deliver a picture-perfect wedding that looks like it came straight off a Pinterest board or a viral TikTok. And if your day doesn’t fit into the mold? Cue the judgment.
Maybe you’ve heard:
“Your cousin had a choreographed dance…”
“You’re not doing a sit-down dinner?”
“Wait, you’re walking yourself down the aisle?”
Suddenly, it’s not about your dream wedding, it’s about managing everyone else’s expectations. And when you start making choices to avoid criticism instead of honoring your values, wedding planning turns into people-pleasing on steroids.
Here’s your reminder: Your wedding is not a performance. It’s a promise. It’s not your job to entertain people—it’s your job to be present in a moment that marks the start of your marriage.
The Identity Shift No One Talks About
One of the most unexpected parts of wedding planning is how it sparks a personal identity shift.
You’re stepping into a new role, not just “bride,” but partner, wife, maybe daughter-in-law, or step-parent. You’re asking big questions:
What do I believe about marriage?
What traditions do I want to carry forward… or leave behind?
Who am I becoming through this process?
And those aren’t easy questions to answer, especially when others don’t like your answers. So when someone pushes back on your decision to wear a non-white dress or elope instead of hosting a huge wedding, it doesn’t just feel like feedback. It feels like rejection.
That’s why napkin colors can make you cry. It’s not about the napkins—it’s about being seen, respected, and free to do things your way.
What to Do When It Feels Too Personal
Okay. Deep breath. You don’t have to stay in the spiral. Here’s a reset I give my clients when things start to feel heavy:
Step 1: Reconnect with Your “Why”
Before anything else, ask:
“How do I want this day to feel?”
Forget how it looks for a second. What emotions do you want to carry through the day? Peace? Joy? Fun? That becomes your compass.
Step 2: Choose Your Top 3 Priorities
What matters most? The food? The ceremony? The music? Pick just three to five. Let those guide every decision. If it doesn’t align with your top three, it’s not a priority.
Step 3: Set Boundaries (With Compassion)
You can love your family and still tell them no.Try saying:
“We’ve really thought this through and made choices that reflect us as a couple.”
It’s kind. It’s confident. It works.
Step 4: Don’t Go It Alone
There’s no trophy for doing this by yourself. Hire a planner if you can. Lean on tools like The Bride Bot if you’re DIY-ing it. Talk to someone who’s not emotionally invested—like a coach, therapist, or trusted friend.
You’re not failing if you need help. You’re just human.
What’s Next?
Whether you’re walking this season as a bride or standing beside one as a mother, you don’t have to figure this out alone. Here are a few places to go next, depending on where you are right now.
Love Letters
A weekly note from me. Part encouragement, part perspective, part quiet reminder that you’re not behind and you’re not doing this wrong.
For Mothers of the Bride- The Mother of the Bride Virtual Conversation
A free, guided conversation created specifically for mothers walking through the emotional and relational shifts that come with this season.
For Engaged Couples- The Virtual Wedding Planning Event
A step-by-step planning conversation that helps you move from overwhelm to clarity, without the chaos, pressure, or family tension.
Need Support Right Now?
The Bride Bot™
Real-time wedding planning guidance when questions pop up at midnight. Calm, grounded answers, without Google spirals.
Just Got Engaged?
The First 5 Things to Do After You Get Engaged
A simple starting point that helps you slow down, get aligned, and make smart decisions from the very beginning.
Listen In
The Snagged Podcast
Honest conversations about weddings, relationships, and what this season is really teaching us — beyond the pretty details.
Stay Connected
Follow along for guidance, encouragement, and perspective throughout the planning journey.
Planning a wedding isn’t just about the day. It’s about the people, the relationships, and the season you’re walking through. Wherever you are, support makes all the difference.
About the Author
This post was brought to you by Sarah Lizabeth—a wedding planner, educator, and storyteller on a mission to change the narrative of the wedding industry. With two decades of experience and a heart for service, Sarah helps couples focus on what truly matters: connection, clarity, and a celebration that reflects their real love story.
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